The End

Day Fifty.

Gomene minna.

The Unremarkable Life of the Female Otaku has come to its end. I, Fujiwara Kumiko, have decided to end my unremarkable life. It has nothing to do with Kazu, my parents or anyone else. This is the decision I’ve made long ago. I was just waiting for the right time.

Last September 1, I wrote my name on my “Death Note” and followed it with the line: “will die quietly after 7 days. I know it’s not a really going to kill me but I just wanted to mark the start of my countdown to my death. Also, I’ve always been linked to the number 7 since I was a child so it would only be fitting to die at the 7th. Most of you probably won’t understand my decision. You might say I’m insane, demented and just plain stupid. But I don’t care.

Thank you for all the people who’ve supported me with their wonderful comments in this blog. And I’m sorry if I’m a disappointment to all of you. I have my reasons for doing this. Reasons most people wouldn’t understand.

Before my death I was able to see the sights of Singapore and I was able to see Kazu and Reiko again. For that I am so happy. The last movie I saw on the theater was “Hana Yori Dango: Final” which is so perfect since it’s the first drama I’ve really obsessed about. It’s like fate that it’s now showing here in Singapore when just a few weeks ago, I was complaining about not being able to see in theaters. That movie made me last day on earth so worthwhile. It was so much fun to watch and Fujiko Naohito just made my day! I was also so proud that the Singaporeans loved HYD so much! The theater was jam-packed and the people were laughing and cheering while watching. Some girls even screamed when F4 first showed up together. Everyone had a smile on their faces when they left the theater and so was I.

The last anime I finished was “Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion” and it’s seriously one the best anime there is. The plot is really clever, the characters are complex and it was just so twisted! I’m glad I was able to watch it before I die.

The last book I read was “Good Omens” although I was not able to finish it. It’s a shame but I just don’t have the time. But I’m glad that my last book was one written by Neil Gaiman. He will always be my number 1 favorite author!

The last drama I have finished watching is “Ashita no Kita Yoshio”. Which is quite fitting since it’s about a guy who decided to kill himself in 11 days. Without meaning to, I even spent my last few days like Kita Yoshio. I withdrew all my money, stayed in a fancy hotel room, ate my favorite food (chocolate cake and onigiri) and I even went face to face with the man I love before I died.

I only have hours left to live now but somehow, I feel nothing. No fear, or sadness or nervousness.

Sayonara minna! Thank you for everything.

End of Day Fifty.

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QUOTES FROM “VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE”:

“She is not killing herself because she was sad, embittered woman, constantly depressed. The First reason: Everything in her life was the same and once her youth was gone, it would go downhill all the way. She would gain nothing by continuing to live; indeed, the likelihood of suffering would only increase.”

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“At twenty four having experienced everything she could experience, Veronika was almost certain that everything ends in death. That is why she chose suicide: freedom at last! Eternal oblivion!”

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“To hell with taboos and superstitions. God knows the  past, the present and the future. In that case, he had placed her in this world in the full knowledge that she would end up killing herself and he would not be shocked by her actions.”

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“What makes a person hate themselves? Cowardice perhaps. Or the eternal fear of being wrong, of not doing what others expect.”

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“She had managed to appear utterly independent when she was in fact, desperately in need of company. When she entered the room everyone would turn to look at her, but she always ended the night alone watching TV. She gave all of her friends the impression that she is a woman to be envied and she expended most of her energy trying to behave in accordance with the image she created for herself.”

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“Certain people in their eagerness to construct a world no external threat can penetrate, build exaggeratedly high defenses against the outside world, against new people, new places, different experiences and leave their inner world stripped bare.”

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Published:
September 6, 2008 / 6:15 pm
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A day in my life...
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